Two Years & Two Months.

It has been that long since I last posted in this place. I'm not sure what drew me here today; but whatever it was, it made me nostalgic to days long gone. Where have we been? Well, I guess you can say we've been "surviving" the hectic days of medical school.

It was a long two years and two months. So much has happened, too much to fit these humble pages. Our lives have been a series of crossroads, and after jumping from one to another, we now find ourselves looking back at what were the most memorable days of our lives. We welcomed new family members, and lost some dear friends. We experienced pain in all its forms, and we laughed to the point of tears. We learned, and we learned, and we learned through every single moment. If I had to sum it up in one word, I would say that we have changed. Hopefully for the better.

Our Triumphant Pursuit will never come to an end; it's a lifelong journey. One which up until now has truly been worth the ride.

May your days bring you insight and strength and fulfillment; the best is yet to be.

Savvy Doc.

Two Words.

It's the little things that matter, and it's the little things that usually go unnoticed.  

This is a Thank You..  

To those who have made a difference in our lives.

To those whose presence gives us faith that there is still some good in the world.

To those whose kindness constantly inspires us to become better people.

To those whom we sincerely cherish in our hearts.

For being there, for being you..  I am forever in your debt.

Thank You.

Savvy Doc.

People Talking Without Speaking*

Depression robs you of your sanity, and you experience a major lapse of reason. You no longer comprehend the words coming out of your mouth nor do you see who you are talking to. You say things you regret soon after and hurt people you care about. You wish you stopped yourself but it’s too late now.

Exams are here. Welcome to the jungle**.

 

Mental.

*The Sound of Silence – Simon And Garfunkle.

**Guns ‘n Roses.

Seriosly there is no Better Title than "حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل "

الحمد لله على النعمة، الله يديم علينا الصحة و العافية

I was just watching a show today, on LBC, it's called "أحمر ... بالخط العريض", which means "red... in bold". This is my second time watching it and seriously, praise goes out to the inventors! Jazahum Allah 5air! They invite people on the show, who have experienced a wrong doing by a group of people, they invite those that can prove whether they were really wrong done, and they also invite someone who has actually "participated" in the wrong doing, under cover, giving them the choice at the end of the episode to show who they are, after a severe interrogation! You'll understand more...

Today's episode, I'm still crying, and I'm not being too dramatic!
Has humanity sunk that low. It was about medical malpractice. They invited four individuals who believe that they were victimized, two very successful doctors, including Dr. Malibary, the head neurologist at KAU, and a doctor who remained undercover, who just disgusted the hell out of me!

There were many stories on the show, but there are two that affected me the most.

The first story was of this Egyptian woman, who was in her ninth month of pregnancy. She isn't very rich, and people who aren't rich have to resort to polyclinics, now I'm sorry but the truth here is that we are talking about Egypt, and there aren't many hospitals that are good there (out of experience) for a random polyclinic in a poor neighborhood to be good! She went for just another check up, she wasn't experiencing any labor signs, no cramps nothing. The doctor did the check up and told her to wait in the clinic, because she was going to give birth, and he was going to do a Cesarean. She trusted him, so she agreed. When she went into the operation room, she heard the doctor tell his nurse "Didn't I tell you to clean the instruments and cover them? Oh well for the next patient", her heart stopped, she told him she didn't want to do the surgery, but he reassured her, and she had nothing to do but to go ahead. Everything is good, she now has a healthy baby girl, except that all of a sudden, a few months after the Cesarean she starts feeling this sudden pain in her stomach, she explains it: "it's as if someone poured gas inside of me and lit it on fire". She went to her doctor asked him whats wrong, he refuses to help her, she goes to other doctors, with this now hardening mass in her stomach, still they refuse to help her. Until one doctor finally agrees to help her, with the condition that she takes responsibility for whatever the outcome of the surgery is. I think you all have come to the conclusion that the original doctor forgot something inside her? and that is exactly it, he forgot a piece of cloth, , her stomach/ intestines began to stick to this piece of cloth which created huge complications. She got it removed, she didn't have money for the operation so she sold her house, and on top of that she was told that she can no longer have any more children. So, in his right mind what does her husband go and do? He divorces her, because it's the only sane thing to do to the sick mother of your children (you son of a B...). So now, she's sick, with two children, all alone, no father, no siblings, a burden on her family, and there is no one to help her! When the health department decided to help her, they went to the clinic, and said that it was an unhealthy place for any major surgeries to occur, there was out-of-date anesthesia being used! So, it was so wonderful to hear that they put the clinic out of busines... for a month! yes, a month, during which the doctor who originally operated was practicing medicine in a nearby clinic...

I suppose the only really good thing about this was that, when the presenter asked her what was her dream, she said she wanted to visit Mekkah and go to the kabba. Al7amdullillah, an anonymous Saudi , donated 11000 Egyptian pounds as well as a trip to Saudi Arabia to do omra.

Bare with me because the next story will make you... I don't know!
So, the undercover doctor. Three cases of medical malpractice. Ignored, in fact manipulated by his chief, so that they are not filed. The case were all the same idea, accidentally pierced an artery, patient dies, unsterilized room and instruments, patient dies, little girl with anyurism, stressed her before the surgery, didn't wait for her mother to come... patient dies. Do you know what he told the families, "Shu badna na3mul, Allah beyreed" .... WTF! Yeah Allah wrote that they will die but you A-O, you had the choice, Zay ma Allah beyreed Allah i36ak 7urriyit i5tiyar Al6areeg al9a7ee7.... and he has no remorse, in fact he was laughing when he was telling the stories... LAUGHING!!! I am so glad he didn't uncover his identity, because if he did I would have made it my personal ambition to kill that bastard! And he has the nerve to say that he is a good doctor with a great resume! Can you even fathom that!!? I swear to god, i am getting goosebumps at the thought that he doesn't realize what he has done... Mistakes happen, but you admit to them you fess up, you don't pretend that everything is okay, you don't manipulate the truth. You take responsibility! The stories where so unbelievable, that the doctors on the show couldn't believe him, Dr. Malibary said it seemed like the stories where fabricated, out of how unbelievable they were!

As the presenter was asking the anonymous doctor whether he wanted to reveal himself or not (which of course he didn't) the Egyptian lady, whose name is Hind Nawwf, passed out on the floor. I couldn't find anything to say what happened afterward, if she's okay or not, I hope she is. I pray innu rabbana yishfeeha wi yirfa3 3annaha wi ye3alli maratibha. Yarab teshoof awladaha yikbaru wi yi9eeru ash6ar wi a7asan awlad fil 3alam! Allah yirzugha min3indu wa7id ibin 7alal yintabih 3alaiha, wi yisa3idha ya rab!

Wi Allah la yiktub 3alaina, that we make any mistakes in our careers or that any mistake happens to our loved ones!

iDoc

“A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. "Never leave that till tomorrow", he said, "Which you could do today." This is the man who discovered electricity. You'd think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd say it had a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong. What if you make a mistake you can't undo. Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true. That by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor."

"The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the poets urging us to 'seize the day'. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying." -Grey's Anatomy, Season 1

Untitled V: When The Music's Over.

I feel their stares piercing though me, I know they're looking.

They can sense my vulnerability, as soon as I walk in through that door, faster than a shark smells blood.

I'm not wearing anything out of the ordinary: a black t-shirt, jeans, a white lab coat that is one size too large and my stethoscope in my pocket. They know I'm lost, underexperienced and vulnerable. Oh-So-Vulnerable.

Who will you be seeing through next year?

"When the music's over, turn out the lights.
For the music is your special friend,
Dance on fire as it intends.
Music is your only friend, until the end" *

Sincerely,
Mental.



* When The Music's Over – The Doors.

Does it happen?

What is going on? seriously..
I feel ... empty, like someone has literally carved my insides and left me in the sun to dry.
No feelings, emotions, beliefs... just numb!
im being verbally asaulted, taunted, backstabbed... and i dont feel
No physical or emotional pain, kind of heavenly in a twisted sense.
Not to care about what's being said about you, not to ache, not to regret, feel ashamed or remorse... to basicly STOP caring!!
But i feel dead, like ive lost my purpose!
Just put on a smiley mask every morning and pretend.. all day long, everyday... just pretend... and i dont feel!!
So what IS going on?? does this happen to anyone but me???
???

Loud..

Small & Large.

Too often we hear it said that it's the little things that matter. The compassionate thought, the random act of kindness, the friendly smile.. They always tend to make a world of difference. But how can you recognize the little things while keeping your eyes on the bigger picture?

We walk around continuously forming thoughts and opinions about the world around us. We're baffled by the mysterious tiny incidents that impact our live in ways we never imagined possible. We dwell on the small occurences that suddenly seem to change the world. We never forget the strangers that left an everlasting mark. The little random things.. They leave us in awe.

And to wrap it all up in a perfect bundle, there's that bigger picture- the view from above, from outside the box that we tend to linger in too often. It's one of those gifts that a person can only truly appreciate when they realize its full potential. It's Perspective within your grasp.

So how do you seek that balance? How do you walk with the small in one hand and the large in the other without falling over? How can you give the little things the attention they deserve while not losing sight of the bigger picture??

Ramadan Kareem to you all.

و كل عام و أنتم بخير

Savvy Doc.

in·fla·tion - (n-flshn) n. 1. The act of inflating or the state of being inflated.

Money is a burden... to have and to not have.  But I guess we already knew that!

In recent days I have been dumbfound by the extent of the inflation the world is going through.  I wouldn't have realised it if I hadn't been so well trained by my dad and grandma (:P) to bargain shop at the supermarket.  This is a statistic I heard on a news channel that I absolutely could not believe,   at the end of  june it was said that by september (though prices had already risen at least 25%) prices will further increase another 50%.... FIFTY!!  Can you even understand that?  Frankly I don't.

Around mid 20th century, there were two schools of economics that debated the real reason behind inflation.  Baring in mind we are talking about modern day inflation rather than monetary inflation (which ironicaly means an increase in money supply rather than an increase in prices).  There was the "monetarists" who argued that money supply dominated all other factors in determining inflation, i.e. the countries money supply increases and it can increase its prices to accommodate, while "keynesians" argued that real demand often dominated inflation than changes in the money supply, i.e. there is an increased demand on, say flour, thus they increase the price since it's manufacturing or importation has been reduced significantly.

Great educational value... you're wrong!  I know I am going to sound so rediculous, but hear me out.  Maybe there is increased demand, maybe there is incresed money supply (which is heighly doubtful), but why would there be increased demand... Look at the worlds population, in 195o there were a mere 2.5 billion people, how many are we now? 6.5 billion, and this is all approximate, what's scarier is how many we'll be in 2050... take a wild guess... the worlds population will increase by approxamately 3 billion.  Increased demand because we are multiplying far too much.  Yes, I'm probably the last person who would say this, because I want kids more than anything, but people cool down on the off-springing! Will we... no, because it's our human instinct to make people, God made it that way!  Then we should probably find another way to fix things.

The “oh so great” U.S. of A. were so generous to their inhabitants, that they decided to reduce taxes, this was of course under President Bush's federal governments rule, but wait a second, they reduced their taxes whilst inflation was occurring, meaning that every dollar that anyone saves has less purchasing power each year!  Yeah, the taxes didn't do much did they? Except start controvertial wars that probably resulted in the inflation in the first place.  Do you know how much a barrel of gasoline costs in England... a full tank would set you back 500 saudi riyal, in a normal sized car!

Science and technology isn't helping much either.  instead of home grown natural fruites and vegetables, some obsessive compulsive scientist decided he wants all his tomatos a certain shade of red and the same size and all his carrots the same length and width and oh dear god if he saw any green!  So instead of paying the price of the farming and the profit for the outlet, we now pay the price for the farming, genetic engineering, and the outlet, and I'll tell you the genetics isn't that cheap.

From where I see it, we shoud just blow up the whole world and start over.  but because that's probably impossible, we'll have to resort to patience.  We'll continue multiplying, we'll continue trusting our leaders, and we will always have mad scientist.  we just have to pray they won't get any madder.

And by the way, Money will always be a burden...

iDoc

"Silence is the true friend that never betrays."

Confucius

iDoc

When the Crab Came to Try and Take her Away

When I started this year, I never thought I'd get through it. Yes, I was so doubtful of my capabilities, my grades were slipping, I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be in this new life, and regardless, I pushed on because I wanted to be happy.

This year has been more than a whirlwind, for all of my family, I think my grandma said it best when she said: “Never in my life have I been grabbed by my arms and spun around the whole earth time and time again”. This is exactly what happened to us. a tragedy, no... a test, and I cannot deny but a very hard test!

I am at awe when I think how my family stood together to get through it all, yeah, I admit they weren't always there for one another, in fact some of them were naive enough to start pointing their fingers and blaming people for things that GOD makes possible, things that are never in our hands. But then sanity came back, and once more we stood together. standing by those who couldn't “stand” and buying black coffee and Lattes for those who could no longer keep their eyes open. A memory too vivid, but I am glad.

My friends, stood by me when I had no energy to stand, listened to me when I cried, they were there, and though I knew they would be, I was still amazed.

We fall, and we always will, but then we climb up again, however cleched that may seem, one step at a time. And it is so much easier for us to climb up again with people around us. Life is good, grades raise and happiness reappears. Life is truly good.

Wake-up Call.

Sometimes, what we really need is a sudden, mentally and/or physically excruciatingly painful experience to snap us back to our senses.  A bad incident to steer our attention towards all the good that's too easy to neglect sometimes.  A wake-up call.  The hard part?  Hanging onto it after it passes.  And no, I don't mean the "bad" per se, that part should definitely be left behind.. I mean hanging onto the magic of that transient epiphany..  That sense of gratitude for all the little blessings we too often take for granted, the sense of deep appreciation for being pain-free, for the ability to go on with life normally.  To live.

Consider this a reminder.. For all the times we desperately want to remember but find it much easier to simply forget.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Savvy Doc.

Top 10 Lessons of the Year (07/08)

To continue the tradition..

10. Focus. Don't lose sight of your target by letting life's trivial events blur your vision.

9. Power. Words are powerful. Too powerful sometimes. Use them wisely.

8. Acceptance. Learn to take things as they are, and accept them for what they are. Life will not always fulfill your expectations.

7. Understanding. When you want someone to understand you, don't expect them to just 'get' it. Be willing to explain yourself, let it all out, be direct. And if they still don't get it, then it's okay, let it be. Don't let it get in the way of things.

6. Perspective. Learn how to ask the right questions. They'll lead you closer to the answers.

5. Disengage. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is nothing.

4. Trust. Once you hand someone your trust, there's no turning back unless they prove themself unworthy of it.

3. Appreciation. When there's someone in your life with whom you can speak openly to, do not take them for granted. Not everyone's that lucky- some people dream of an understanding ear.

2. Reasons. There's always a reason.. for everything. Everyone in your life is there for a reason. Everything you do, you do for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. There's always a reason, and it appears sooner or later.

1. Faith. It's in God's hands. Always. Do what you can with what you've been blessed with and leave the rest up to Him.

Savvy Doc.

Post 100

"It is in the nature of medicine that you are gonna screw up. You are gonna kill someone. If you can't handle that reality, pick another profession. Or finish medical school and teach."

-House, MD