By the end of this entry, I would have mentioned 16 names of different songs (or lyrics from different songs).
If you want to think that I'm getting any what so ever, you're absolutely wrong. I wouldn't mind though as the wise man(Marvin Gaye :P) once said "I want sexual healing" ;). I think I need the drugs though, my survival instinct isn't really functional these days and tears are an easy thing to lose, I think a little less studying them and a little more taking them might do me good... nothing hard core, and just enough to make me comfortably numb. Finally, Rock 'n' roll, and though I am still in the first year of proper med, I think that would be the best description for the faculty's endless hours, hectic syllabus, and never ending stress. But as they say, it's only rock 'n' roll but I like it.
I don't know what made me decide I wanted medicine. I always wanted it though, it was a dream, me, my stethoscope and my patient. To fix what's wrong, though inevitably it is by Gods will that anyone can be fixed, but I still wouldn’t mind learning how to save a life, from anything and everything it may endure. Helping people is one of those things my parents always raised me to be happy to do, and I am happy to do it. It's a little exhilarating to see the strengths that people go to, to help people. My first surgery was anterior repair, now I'm not a doctor, but this is a surgery to fix, well…a vagina, and I was amazed at every stroke of the scalpel and every stitch made, it was the hugest rush of adrenaline. Inside the O.R., I could only fantasize it was me doing that. Maybe I'm just living on high hopes…but what can one do but hope.
Now, when we enroll into medicine we have to keep in mind that it would be extremely difficult to make "Friends", and it definitely proved to be that way, everywhere you look there are people who are your "friends", people who will help you because they are your "friends", and people who will be there for you because they are your "friends". Fortunately, I am blessed, but unfortunately, betrayal still rules. It's sad, but true. After all, we are betrayed daily by the least expected people. I've betrayed people. The difference is, some people actually regret, their wrong doings, feel bad about whatever, whoever it is they hurt. It's difficult to forgive, we are all so cold, but when someone feels violated it's their pride that's all shook up (I had to have that one :P). Sometimes though, we have to give that up a little, be the bigger person, however small we feel. If sorry seems to be the hardest word…we should make it a little easier!
It's tough. I'm not one to complain, but it is. We all want to succeed and still have our families and friends to love and care for. But especially in medicine, sacrifices will have to be made, and I fear what my sacrifice will be. Bare with me, this is something I'm going to bore you with indefinitely, it's something that's always in my head. I think I think too much of it!
Right now, I don't know what direction my life is going in. It sometimes seems easier to run, but how can anyone throw it all away…second chances are very few in life, we are lucky if we even get them. I'm happy where I am, but you can't help but wonder were choices you make will take you. In the end, what is it that really matters? Isn’t it you and your families well being and having people to look out for you. I fear my priorities need realigning. I also feel like I'm going into a tangent. I just hope that somewhere on a parallel universe I'm not so overburdened with stress, but as they say, always look on the bright side of life…because life is so Mellow yellow!
If you want to think that I'm getting any what so ever, you're absolutely wrong. I wouldn't mind though as the wise man(Marvin Gaye :P) once said "I want sexual healing" ;). I think I need the drugs though, my survival instinct isn't really functional these days and tears are an easy thing to lose, I think a little less studying them and a little more taking them might do me good... nothing hard core, and just enough to make me comfortably numb. Finally, Rock 'n' roll, and though I am still in the first year of proper med, I think that would be the best description for the faculty's endless hours, hectic syllabus, and never ending stress. But as they say, it's only rock 'n' roll but I like it.
I don't know what made me decide I wanted medicine. I always wanted it though, it was a dream, me, my stethoscope and my patient. To fix what's wrong, though inevitably it is by Gods will that anyone can be fixed, but I still wouldn’t mind learning how to save a life, from anything and everything it may endure. Helping people is one of those things my parents always raised me to be happy to do, and I am happy to do it. It's a little exhilarating to see the strengths that people go to, to help people. My first surgery was anterior repair, now I'm not a doctor, but this is a surgery to fix, well…a vagina, and I was amazed at every stroke of the scalpel and every stitch made, it was the hugest rush of adrenaline. Inside the O.R., I could only fantasize it was me doing that. Maybe I'm just living on high hopes…but what can one do but hope.
Now, when we enroll into medicine we have to keep in mind that it would be extremely difficult to make "Friends", and it definitely proved to be that way, everywhere you look there are people who are your "friends", people who will help you because they are your "friends", and people who will be there for you because they are your "friends". Fortunately, I am blessed, but unfortunately, betrayal still rules. It's sad, but true. After all, we are betrayed daily by the least expected people. I've betrayed people. The difference is, some people actually regret, their wrong doings, feel bad about whatever, whoever it is they hurt. It's difficult to forgive, we are all so cold, but when someone feels violated it's their pride that's all shook up (I had to have that one :P). Sometimes though, we have to give that up a little, be the bigger person, however small we feel. If sorry seems to be the hardest word…we should make it a little easier!
It's tough. I'm not one to complain, but it is. We all want to succeed and still have our families and friends to love and care for. But especially in medicine, sacrifices will have to be made, and I fear what my sacrifice will be. Bare with me, this is something I'm going to bore you with indefinitely, it's something that's always in my head. I think I think too much of it!
Right now, I don't know what direction my life is going in. It sometimes seems easier to run, but how can anyone throw it all away…second chances are very few in life, we are lucky if we even get them. I'm happy where I am, but you can't help but wonder were choices you make will take you. In the end, what is it that really matters? Isn’t it you and your families well being and having people to look out for you. I fear my priorities need realigning. I also feel like I'm going into a tangent. I just hope that somewhere on a parallel universe I'm not so overburdened with stress, but as they say, always look on the bright side of life…because life is so Mellow yellow!
iDOC
1 comment:
i love it ;) and i must agree.. it's tough.. it's REALLY tough.. bs Allah y3adeeha 3la 5air o ywaffig iljamee3 :)
Savvy.
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