Big Brother

Reasons why I always wanted an older brother:
I’m the eldest. I do love it, and love the attention it brings with it.
When you’re the youngest or the middle one, there’s always someone looking out for you. You feel like you constantly have that one cozy embrace that can make your day, that shoulder to cry on, that person to protect you.
That person to look up to.
No pressure.

To feel protected by someone…who’s wise and understands what goes on in my head without judging. There’s this part of me that KNOWS that I’d have been a completely different person if I had one. Don’t know if to better or to worse, but I’d have changed there’s no doubt about that.

Naturally, I’m thankful of course that I am the way I am now.
I’m independent, yet there are things I can never do on my own (people often think my sister is the older one because she acts like it, or MAYBE it's because sometimes I act like I'm my brother's age :P
it's a de-stressing technique, poor thing she's seen too many 'techniques' lol)

I literally built myself block by block over the years, and it’s so easy for a whole building to collapse when one block accidentally slips out of place. You always have another chance to reconstruct your building back to its original summit, as long as the pillars have not been weakened by the constant falling or the drastic collapse, you have a second chance.

I just always wondered how it’d feel if I had an older brother to play my role for ME, or to have someone to lean on at the times of my weakness (we all have our moments, but I can't afford to succumb to those moments when I'm supposedly the person my siblings look up to…yes nobody is perfect…Perfection is only in the hands of God), when all I need is a hug from that older understanding loving brother.

Words wouldn’t be necessary. Communication would be far deeper than mere words. He’d read my emotions through
my eyes.
I’m transparent
if you know the language my eyes speak. I was never able to hide through them.
Happiness, sadness, love, concern, hurt, shyness, anger…I could hide through putting on a smile, but you’ll only be sure one way.

I must say though that I love my siblings to death! I’d do EVERYTHING I could to protect them and be there for them whenever they need me Allah yi7meehom. If anyone ever offends them, even if it was merely ‘verbally’, I could literally put up a fight. (It’s happened before…but never again ilhamdilah…people start knowing on their own after it happens once.)

I learned something of utmost interest. You’ve all heard it before, but I’ve seen it. We tend to treat the people we love and care about the way WE want to be treated. So true.

P.S. I was inspired by a friend of mine to talk about this topic the other day since it was brought up and it means a lot to me…
I actually wrote all this on my phone as a msg and saved it as a draft! :) keep inspiring me people, you've been great.

Your one and only....Perky Doc. ;)